1. When you know quad doesn’t mean the square in the middle of the campus.
2. When every third person you meet in public says to you in a voice of hushed reverence, with a gentle pat on your arm and an ever so small tear glinting in their eye, that “you are so special to be with him.”
3. When people ask of you “are you his nurse”? or better yet “are you his mother?” (we are the same age).
4. When people speak to you instead of your perfectly articulate SCI’ed mate.
5. When you routinely discuss the finer points of bowel movement management–at dinner–in public.
6. When you really miss not having hubby with you because you don’t have his wheelchair on which to hang your purse or shopping bags.
7. When your husband says “I think I need to pee,” it’s you that gets up.
8. When there is a cockroach, wasp or other horribly scary bug in the house, YOU are the one in charge of killing it.
9. When you are really good at fixing wheelchairs, clogged toilets and any manner of small electrical devices.
10. When you can build a 4 foot section of a chain link fence solely out of zip ties and duct tape.
11. When you’re flipping the TV channels and you see the SCI-FI channel, and your first thought is that it must be some show on Spinal Cord Injury.
12. When you holler at your SCI’ed hubby to get off his ass and hurry it up, people around you look completely aghast at your horrible treatment of the disabled.
13. When the phrase “the crips and the bloods” means hemorrhoids in the disabled.
14. When you are always on top, and related, rather than ask your husband if he’s “in the mood”, you have to go check.
15. When you are in complete and total charge of the TV remote.
16. When you can diagnose a urinary tract infection with one whiff, perform extensive range of motion, percussive quad coughing, change a suprapubic catheter and perform brain surgery because its all considered “custodial care” by your insurance company.
17. When your SCI’ed mate is in the hospital, you are essentially admitted yourself since you can’t leave him alone there with a call button he can’t operate.
18. When your dog leaves a dead rabbit on the doorstep, YOU are the one digging the hole to bury it.

And the number one sure sign that you’re a quad caregiver wife:

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