- When you know quad doesn’t mean the square in the middle of the campus.
- When every third person you meet in public says to you in a voice of hushed reverence, with a gentle pat on your arm and an ever so small tear glinting in their eye, that “you are so special to be with him.”
- When people ask of you “are you his nurse”? or better yet “are you his mother?” (we are the same age).
- When people speak to you instead of your perfectly articulate SCI’ed mate.
- When you routinely discuss the finer points of bowel movement management–at dinner–in public.
- When you really miss not having hubby with you because you don’t have his wheelchair on which to hang your purse or shopping bags.
- When your husband says “I think I need to pee,” it’s you that gets up.
- When there is a cockroach, wasp or other horribly scary bug in the house, YOU are the one in charge of killing it.
- When you are really good at fixing wheelchairs, clogged toilets and any manner of small electrical devices.
- When you can build a 4 foot section of a chain link fence solely out of zip ties and duct tape.
- When you’re flipping the TV channels and you see the SCI-FI channel, and your first thought is that it must be some show on Spinal Cord Injury.
- When you holler at your SCI’ed hubby to get off his ass and hurry it up, people around you look completely aghast at your horrible treatment of the disabled.
- When the phrase “the crips and the bloods” means hemorrhoids in the disabled.
- When you are always on top, and related, rather than ask your husband if he’s “in the mood”, you have to go check.
- When you are in complete and total charge of the TV remote.
- When you can diagnose a urinary tract infection with one whiff, perform extensive range of motion, percussive quad coughing, change a suprapubic catheter and perform brain surgery because its all considered “custodial care” by your insurance company.
- When your SCI’ed mate is in the hospital, you are essentially admitted yourself since you can’t leave him alone there with a call button he can’t operate.
- When your dog leaves a dead rabbit on the doorstep, YOU are the one digging the hole to bury it.
And the number one sure sign that you’re a quad caregiver wife:
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