The Mobility Resource Blog
As a pre-teen, I watched a deaf couple my parents knew end their marriage of 20-plus years. They had three children and it was devastating to see their family being ripped apart. I am sure there were many reasons why the marriage failed, but it became apparent that because of their disability they had in many ways isolated themselves from others. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was a major cause in their failed relationship and it became something I thought about when I imagined a future spouse.
Growing up I always dreamed of the fairy tale wedding with my knight in shining armour. I dreamed we would get married, have children and live out our days in wedded bliss. Although marriage and family are never a certainty for anyone; having a physical disability can make achieving this goal more difficult.
I’m pretty sure not a week goes by where I’m not subjected to remarks about my disability. Now, before I even get into this topic, I’m going to politely put forth my counter-argument to the inevitable responses that I’m being nit-picky about semantics or complaining unnecessarily about comments made by well-meaning able-bodied people. I believe that if you truly mean well, you’ll consider how it feels for people with disabilities to be gawked at, subjected to ridiculous comments or prodded for our life stories, and perhaps stop to think about whether it’s appropriate to blurt out a nosey question.
So you’ve met someone amazing who just happens to use a wheelchair and the last thing you want is take them on a mediocre date where they can’t be fully involved. Yes, that would be bad form.
I’m married to a handsome, funny, caring man who happens to be a c5/6 quadriplegic. Our life isn’t ordinary. At times we feel like rock stars riding the high of achievement together. Sometimes, we hold each other and just cry. This is a look at some of the challenges we’ve faced in our marriage of just four years so far, together. Admittedly, this is our experience. I recognize each marriage and each disability and couple face different challenges in different ways.
The average person gets a little confused when they find themselves attracted to someone in a wheelchair. Not everybody feels this way, but it is the most common response.
As someone who loves watching shows like Say Yes to the Dress on TLC, you can imagine how excited I was when I got engaged this summer and finally had the opportunity to shop for my perfect wedding dress. Although I didn’t have bridal consultant extraordinaire Randy Fenoli by my side, I was lucky enough to be able to turn to fashion guru Christine Schwab for advice.
When my spinal cord injury happened four weeks before my wedding, I was devastated, but comforted that I had my fiancé Chris to help me get through it.
Change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it has no real effect on our lives.
Imagine getting that question almost every day of your life. Enough to where I get the knee-jerk reaction to say “No, not unless I can ask you first.” Well, that is if my knee could jerk. I’ve decided that since everyone wants to know, here it is. All in its glory. No longer will you have to wonder–about the realm of motherhood and disability, that is.